saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
