when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
