So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize