Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
