im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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