God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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