i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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