problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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