apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
