The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
