I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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