she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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