I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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