is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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