new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
