Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
