i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
