if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
