is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
