We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
