Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Let's get the cat blown out
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
