You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
All the doctor said was why
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
