please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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