Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
