I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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