why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
