I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
