Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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