Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
