I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
