like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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