So drunk its hurt
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
