WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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