yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
