i jhust puked up my retainher.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
