she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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