I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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