Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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