We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
