im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
