i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
