He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
