This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
