DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
