Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
how drunk are you?
Several
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
