I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
