Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
