I want to have your abortion
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
