So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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