After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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