he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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